Posted by: Monkey | April 4, 2012


Recently while sitting at dinner with some friends something dawned on me. I cannot now remember what it was that brought this thought about now, except once it settled it made so much sense to me.

For a while now I have been looking at my life imagining what it must be like for an outsider to look at and comparing that to how I look at my life from the inside. I can imagine for many people who look at my life they would think I have quite an unusual life and perhaps even interesting… and then as I have begun more deeply observing the way I feel about my own life I have noticed that there is some kind of self-belief that my life is not particularly interesting or really worth much. Sometimes I might look at my life during the day and think about how natural and peaceful I am living, and yet still there has been this mental belief that likes to downplay the significance of any moment in my life. Unless there is something exciting happening every moment, such as dating or socializing and going to parties, engaging in extreme sports like rockclimbing, or doing something profound… then my brain likes to tell me that what is happening is not interesting. I am not sure where I learnt this pattern, I have a thought that it happened through the pressures of the society and culture I grew up in. Often I can feel the pull of I must be a certain way or have a certain thing happen to me in order to be ‘ok’.


So what occurred to me on this night sitting with some friends is what I am lacking is a sense of celebration. That life is a celebration in every moment, every experience, every unfolding of what is happening right now. There is a giant universal dance taking place and I am right in the middle of it!
There is an opportunity that exists in every breath, in every sound, in every sight or touch or taste or sense or lack of sense… in everything. There is an opportunity to celebrate and embrace that this life is the one I am living right now, this experience is the one I am having right now and it is entirely perfect and valid because it is what is happening.

And so I sit here right now after a solid day’s work making a compost pile, some time with a new friend, a nice jungle style workout and bathing in the river. And I feel joy, peace and contentment.

Darkness is slowly falling and there is a cool breeze blowing. A fly is buzzing around my head and a mosquito was trying to have a suck on my blood (I squished her, she never succeeded). A few insects are chirping and a gecko is making its nightly call. To my right in the dried out, unused rice fields a buffalo is resting it’s head while his white bird friend stands ever vigilant looking for the flies that bother him so. All around me are mountains and a mixture of dried up leafless trees amongst those, mostly close to the stream, that refuse to shed their green layer. A moment ago there was a thump and a crash as a wild bael fruit fell from its tree and rolled down the hill, I will go and collect it tomorrow morning.
My body feels tired and I enjoy the feeling, I know I have worked and exercised today. I am getting very hungry and feel excited to eat a lot at the party I will go to tonight.

Where I am is right where I am meant to be.

What I am learning is exactly what I need to learn.

Into this endless moment… in and in and in…

I am breathing, I am sensing, I am experiencing in this life of mine which may be all there ever is.


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