Posted by: Monkey | March 29, 2013

Appreciating where we are

Prior to where I am now I was traveling, quite a lot, and a lot was going on.
In the past year I led 3 x 2 week long volunteer groups, then traveled through parts of Laos for a month, then helped a friend working on a bit of land to grow food, then led another volunteer group followed by 2 weeks of rockclimbing in the the south of Thailand, then led 5 volunteer groups back to back (10 weeks without a day off), followed by a trip to Bangkok for a Parkour workshop, followed by a month of Muay Thai training up to 6 hours a day 5 days a week, followed by 3 weeks in India and 2 weeks in Nepal, then leading another volunteer group, then 2 weeks in the Philippines, and finally another 2 volunteer groups.

The past year has been the most intense and full-on year I have ever had. I was partying, drinking, smoking (cigarettes and sometimes weed), fucking, I paid little attention to my diet, often slept late and not enough, and whenever I struggled coffee would usually get me through.

The past year has also been the year in which I got sick the most often. I had regular colds, sinus issues and stomach issues throughout the year. I was burnt out and I could feel exhaustion deep in my bones. Regardless I kept pushing thinking “just a little longer” and when I fully accepted how exhausted I was I decided I would go home to Australia to my parents house in the early part of 2013.
That idea that soon I would be able to collapse, to rest and eat right, to look after myself and enjoy some solitude… that idea kept me going and at times I yearned for it.

So here I am… in a beautiful spot in the mountains. I am eating the healthiest I have in years, I am resting, I am detoxing, I am supplementing, I am moving, I am meditating… I am supported by my parents who want me to feel healthy. And I do, I feel the best in my body that I have in a long time and I haven’t even been here 3 weeks yet!
Every morning I am woken up by the sound of bird calls and when I look at my window I can always see them flying around. There are trees and nature and bushwalks available. The air is clean and I am drinking self-collected natural spring water.

 

…. and I am feeling discontent. The hustle and the bustle, the people, the movement, the constant engagement it is hard to forget. I am yearning for a social group, I am yearning to be active and meeting new people and struggling with being isolated in a place where I don’t know anyone and it’s hard, harder than I imagined it would be.

And maybe all I am needing is to stop, breathe and appreciate where I am right now.

I read something I liked the other day, I don’t remember the source and it says “play until you need to rest, then rest until you are ready to play again”.

Kids often don’t like to be told it’s time for a nap, even when they are clearly exhausted… they still want to play and will often do so fidgeting on the bed or quietly talking to themselves.

What is so hard about closing my eyes and letting that deep rejuvenating rest take me?

I had a really amazing year, what do I find so hard about accepting and appreciating that and enjoying some well deserved time off?

 

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Responses

  1. Super awesome! I can relate to quite a bit of this and mind you, exact same time frame. Which brings me to another amazing post you had called Time Machine. I believe a poem written by you (also the next post after this one) – and wonderful at that. It can relate to this too – in a sense we are always separating with something – whether it is with ourselves not being present, or perhaps with nature or possibly from a deeper place with a special someone. Ps. I found you thanks to your post on elephantjournal with the ‘5 ways…’ Well, all in all this post and the poem.. it’s great to be reminded to appreciate where we are. It truly is well deserved rest. I’ll be back at it again next year.. sometimes it just keeps calling even with the bit of aches here and there. Cheers, you!

  2. Thanks Andrea!
    It’s so important, I think, to know when we need to step back and rest.
    I had such a rejuvenating year this year and it has served me so deeply.
    Gearing up now to launch back out into 2014… big big big year planned!
    🙂


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